What am I willing to do?

This is something I heard today, and I felt connected to it as a tool for self-reflection in where I'm at in terms of developing the village. I am not satisfied with what my answers appear to be thus far. It appears that what I'm willing to do consists of working at Whole Foods, going to school, writing in this blog, and something like making bread sometimes. I want to be a lot more committed and sincere about this, and I want to find a way to show that with deep dedication. What I'm doing so far isn't *bad*, but it's only a start.

Arrogance and shift

I am challenging my own arrogance. I am not going to describe the process much here, but I wanted to note it. I think that my desire to do so is going to herald a new chapter in the development of the village. This is because changing my arrogance into true confidence will make me more mutlilateral, more open to different ideas and methods and existing examples.

Woke up this morning thinking that I want to be writing a little less about theory right now and doing more toward outlining practical work. For example, if I were offered a small grant of $5000 to spend on developing the village, what would I do with it? This sort of thinking is vital for me to develop, since I think that eventually grants of some kind will be valuable in getting started and established.

Topics

Since I've been having trouble just sitting down and writing, I made a list of things to write about. As soon as I did that, I was more able to see that I have a lot to write about. Going to write the list here in the short amount of time I have at the moment:

-Giving and Recieving
- The Relevance of Spiritual Development
-Religion and Respect in a village setting
-The Grand Scale/International Level
-Fiction and Inspiration
-Family and Social Structure
-Expectations of Accomplishment
-Shifting Ideals into Reality
-Planning a Collective Future

The State Street Peeps

In order for this blog to be an effective tool, I also need to be taking action outside it. That will happen soon, in a very structured way, due to school. In the meantime, and hopefully even as that gets going again, I want to make sure I am taking the kind of action each day that gives me something meaningful to write about here. It's not that I'm doing nothing, but a lot of what I have been doing lately is related to either my personal relationships or my Buddhist activities. That is good stuff, but that isn't what this blog is about. Of course it's all interconnected, but I'm working on a specific thing here.

One thing I guess that has been developing gradually worth mentioning is the community of the house I live in. I thought maybe I'd posted this already, but I skimmed through previous posts and didn't see anything. There are 4 apartments in the house, and everyone who lives here is really cool. Everyone seems to be interested in food and the outdoors and being cool neighbors. There is also a general consensus that bikes are at least as respect worthy as cars, if not more so. There have been some potlucks for just hanging out... we hosted one, the girl next to us hosted one, and the people on the second floor have had several. We are musicians and students and grocery store workers and gardeners and philosophers and talkers and doers. In the foyer as you come inside, there is a community monthly calender and it has all sorts of awesome events and notes and drawings. Sammy watched our cat while we were gone, and now we're watching hers while she's gone. We bump into eachother in the driveway or stairwell or sidewalk or garden/backyard and talk about food or religion or work or society or whatever. It's not all the time, and it's not in your face. It's relaxed and develops when someone wants to do something or communicates. I'm so glad I live here, because it has a little of the feel that I'd like the village to have. Unlike most places I've lived since moving out of my parent's house, *all* my neighbors are friendly and interactive and utterly unbitchy. The last place I lived I think had the willingness, to an extent, but people ended up keeping to themselves for the most part, even though we always talked about more. Here, we knock on each others doors, and we do stuff, we don't just talk about it. I'm delighted to live in a place with a real garden (even if I didn't make it), and one step closer to that village vibe.

writersblockwritersblockwritersblockwritersblockwritersblock. I don't know what to write, I don't know what to write. This post might be roundabout, since I'm not feeling connected to what I wrote about yesterday. Today was draining, but I am determined to write here anyway.

Disharmony?

So I haven't written today. I was gone from my house from 9:30am 'til 10pm. But I can't let this be an excuse. School is coming up and there will be plenty of days where I have a lot going on. But there are breaks at work that I can take advantage of, and bus rides, etc. Of course I will have homework, etc. But I must write here every day, for habit of writing about the village, for accumulating thoughts to clarify. Anyway, how about something actually about the village?

One of the things that's popped up in my mind lately a bit is how to cope with difficult situations in the village. Ideally, people would be mature about their interactions with each other, but I know that in reality this doesn't always happen. My friend Kevin once spoke to me about using talking circles. I don't remember exactly what it was called. I'll have to ask him again. But the basic idea is providing a space where all the members of a community can speak and hear each other's perspectives without interruption or demands on time. I'm not sure how well that would work for every day, one on one interactions. But it certainly would help in situations where it affects the whole community strongly and the community feels divided. And what do we do about people who don't contribute fairly, who seek to take advantage of others in various ways, or who seem to constantly cause disharmony? In the past I've simply said that the community as a whole will not put up with such behavior for long, and perhaps might ask someone to leave, or that such a person would realize that the village might not be a setting that works for them. Now I feel that such an attitude is a bit naive. As much as I wish it were otherwise in my idealism, I want to be prepared for such possibilities. So I have a lot more to consider about that, and hope to see solutions evolve here futher.

Determination is absolutely vital for anyone trying to create a change in their environment. It is the most vital element of accomplishing anything. The trick is to maintain, strengthen and develop that determination so that it always grows. This is what I am working on, not just for the village, but my whole life. One of the ways I am doing this is taking more action to demonstrate to myself that I am developing the village each day as I develop myself. So I am learning to be a stronger person, toughening up so that I don't give up or get wishy-washy at the first sign of trouble. I must create the village, and it begins with me.

Sirius Part Two

So I left off with the gigantic rosemary bush. After leaving the greenhouse area, we peeked into the kitchen. It was industrial sized and awesome. It had a whole bunch of pots hanging just like I tend to visualize, with huge ovens and stoves and ranges....in short, a modern version of a village/manor scale village. I'd love to cook in a kitchen like that! Anyway, we ventured outside as well. There was a stone bread oven out there! It was obviously homemade, with glass shards and colorful pebbles decorating it. There was a bit of a lawn and some eating space, neither of which cut back the trees too far. Perfect size in my opinion.

Inside, we went into the wings. Because they are private apartments, we didn't get to see inside any room spaces. But we got to see how it was set up. It kind of made me think of a hobbit hole or something. Which is funny considering the descriptions on Kara's blog about Hobbiton. Anyway, the construction inside was wood and cozy, with nooks here and there and some built-in bookshelves. The bathrooms are constructed pretty much just how I think a bathroom should be... toilets separated from the sinks and eachother by ceiling to floor doors and multiple toilets in each bathroom... and the toilets were composting! ;)

Eventually we took off our shoes, passed through a solid, thick wood door with a little window on it and went upstairs. This is the place where the community gathers to perform, be entertained, dance, and sometimes share various forms of spirituality. They also rent it out to other groups. I don't remember much of the explanation at the moment, but my host explained the architecture... it is octagonal, with large beams coming around a center.... basically the roof structure has a lot in common with a yurt, except made permanent. The major beams are left visible. The floor work is even more amazing.... inlaid darker wood than the main light wood forms a star in the center with rays coming out... it's hard to describe adequately, but it's pretty cool. Especially when you consider that this was done by just a group of people trying to make something for their own sake and benefit... granted, one of them at least is a carpenter.

That was most of it.... I wished we'd had time to go on the guided tour and learn more about the social setup. I look forward to going back. I was delighted and impressed with what I experienced, and I'd like to learn more, and perhaps get involved eventually.

Sirius Part One

I'm back from Florida now, and determined to continue my resolution to write in the blog every day, even if it's late at night. I appreciate Kara asking about Sirius. It's good to have a reminder, because I almost forgot to write about that, and now I don't have to come up with something else to write tonight. :P

I actually didn't get to explore Sirius very thoroughly, especially on the social aspect. It is further outside Amherst than I thought it would be... not sure by how much, but we went through forested, windy roads to get there. There is actually another, smaller community on the way. I don't remember the name, but it looked like it probably wasn't bigger than 10 people, although I suppose it could feasibly house 15. It was like one big house. We stopped briefly to look at it. You can see little bits of Sirius through the trees before you really arrive at it. The person who brought me told me a little about building the road and how the space used to be. He showed me the one conventional farmhouse that was the original dwelling, along with the garage that was converted into a yoga/meditation space. There was also a large shed that apparently serves as multiple types of workshops, including glassblowing I think... Obviously I ought to have written this sooner as memory of details is getting a little fuzzy. We spent most of the time wandering around the current main building. It's very cool. The central part is a huge octagon, two stories, with long wings on either side. It's built of wood, mostly untreated on the outside. Despite the greying wood, the place is thoughtfully and precisely built. The steps up to the main entrance are lovely, the upper half of them being large slabs of stone. Just outside, there is a pretty inlay, although I can't think of what. Just inside the door, there is another, this one of a dove and a globe, made from stone. It's very beautiful and gives a sense of the whole place's interest in peace. To the left from there is the office, with a thick wooden door that pleases my sensibilities, and a piece of paper on it with appreciations from people who visited at some point. To the right is another door, I can't remember to where. We were greeted here by....(drat, I'll have to look up the name) an upper-middle aged man who has the appearance of someone who has worked hard. He has a quiet dignity. The person who brought me knew him, as my host had once worked closely with Sirius and sometimes still does. I was introduced and informed there would be a tour the next hour of the community. I was excited at this prospect, by my host told me there might not be enough time, as he did have another appointment. Beyond here was a large dining area. We edged around it. There was a bit of a potluck going on. It was lively and happy, talkative but not too noisy. The tables were made from wood, some of them especially nice. On the opposite side of the octagon from the main entrance was a door out to an attached greenhouse. It was two parts, a walkway hugging the building with some chairs and table by them, and the lower part with plants. They were very high raised beds, built into the structure, with walkways making everything accessible. There were lots of basil plants, which was lovely, and a bunch of herbs, plus the most gigantic, extensive rosemary bush I could have imagined. I can't ever keep a rosemary bush alive, let alone keep it that big!

I'd better save some of this for tomorrow and get to bed. Thanks for reading!

I've been thinking a little about how an egalitarian society needs to function. Two of the greatest failings of past communities that I've studied so far were 1) maintaining leadership as the role of a single person indefinitely, and 2) obtaining land prematurely and not on premises in line with the ideals of the community. Ergo, I have a strong desire to do things differently. While it is important that I be willing to do everything necessary to the development of the village myself, I must maintain my desire to have people strive *with* me, and not inherently below me. I am aware that there are always those who lead and those who are either not ready to lead or are content not to. The important thing is that I remember that as human beings we are fundamentally equal. I must be willing to accept that other people may have ideas just as good or better than mine, and I must strive to make the Initiative's leadership multilateral. I also must remember to respect the different stages of interest, commitment, and practical action that people and their lives are at. One of the ways I am going to do this now is to allow people the space to stand up, without badgering. I have been learning a lot about this from Buddhism over the course of the past two years. I have a lot more to learn about leadership I know. I am grateful for the opportunities I have with the SGI that are teaching me so much that will prove useful in the future as I develop this dream into reality.

As for land, while it is an exciting and desireable aspect of a community/village which strives for self-sufficiency, the land itself is not the core or glue of a village. Unfortunately, many people have not initially realized this. A telling sign of this tendency is that so many people like to immediately ask where the village will be. Right now, as cheesy as it sounds, the village is in my heart. When others begin to share that vision and desire with me, it will begin to live in our hearts. When there is a core of people unified around the village vision, then we begin to make it a reality, by working on it and planning it together. And finally, when we have developed unity and a strong sense of community, the village will find land in a place which is most appropriate. There have been various proposals of "finding a rich friend" or getting someone to donate the land. This attitude is dangerous. As is demonstrated by the early history of the Twin Oaks community, one person who is part of owning a community can lead that person to believe he (or she) has special priviledges, especially in saying how the community is run. So although I or someone else may own property on which villagers initially live, either eventually that property should be sold in the pursuit of other land, or there should be some kind of transfer of the property to ownership by the village as a whole.

I could, perhaps elaborate on that further. But it will have to wait another day. I will be away for about 4 days, so there may not be any posts until next week. But I am intent on continuing to build a rhythm of writing daily about the village, apart from this time span.

Realizatons

I need to write here absolutely every day. One of the things that I had to hit myself with over the head with tonight is that I *am* building the village, and while there certainly is a lot more I can be doing (and am starting right now, dammit), the important thing is that I have taken Goethe's advice: "whatever you can dream, begin it...." So I HAVE begun. What I need to do now is get so serious about continuing from my beginnings that the effort shows up concretely. So I am re-determined to write in this blog like I am redetermining to be physically active.... every single day.

On Saturday I went to NOFA at Umass. Although I only went to the information fair, I was determined to go. What is NOFA? It's the Northeast Organic Farming Association. They were holding a conference at UMass, and although I'm unable to afford spending money on participating in the conference, I found the information fair highly useful and inspiring. I came away with a bag full of brochures, business cards, and magazines. Afterward, I had a good long conversation with my friend about some of my ideas around the village.... some good realizations have come out of that conversation. One is that I really do have a lot of ideas getting well developed, and I need to dedicate more time to writing them down. Another is that I think I need to write a book. And a third is that I want to stop begging people to join me. The ideas can speak for themselves, and when I grow my life and develop sufficiently and show concrete proof that those ideas are beginning to be enacted by me, people will begging me to let them in. A few other realizations have come along with that, but I'm not sure if I can verbalize them quite yet. So I'll save some of them for tomorrow.

Thanks for reading!

Check-in

I haven't written here in much too long. Be assured that I have been accumulating material and taking "real" action. I have been developing relationships with people who are interested in community-building and living differently. Tomorrow I am going to Sirius with one of these new friends. At last, when someone inquires whether I've been to that community, I will be able to say yes, and have perspectives from my own experiences there, rather than hearsay. This will be the first intentional community that I have visited, other than a visit to a friend at a shared-house co-op. On Monday, I hope to share some of my findings here, as well as my thoughts on the book Visions, given to me by the same friend I am visiting Sirius with.

I hope everyone is having a wonderful summer, full of growth, good food, and new opportunities.